Again

when the day passes by
it feels like, i'm filling
into you...

i have never thought i'd feel
the feeling of you, just in me.
I have nothing else right now
My empty hands, empty thoughts
my eyes are full of you..
my heart beats just for u
i never can believe it
Never thought..
you'd look this beautiful!!

Now again in this spring
flowers are smiling at me
wind hugging me tight
color flooding around
everything looks beautiful
once again

it may not last forever
but living in this moment
is what i ever wanted

Hold me like,
i'm gonna die..
kiss me like,
m leaving the next moment
love me like,
its the last day together

I am afraid of dying now
the fear hs spread now
the fear of loosing you
splitting me into two

hold me
hold me tight...

secret

There's a secret
A secret behind everyone
Which they would hide from anyone

Many may look like a transparent glass
but the thickness is never known
Shadows of the secret can be found,
when they speak.
But the secret will remain a ghost
Noone ains with the ghost but many loses

the secret.
they fear it like a fire..
hide it like their soul..

again when a ghost is dead another is born
many have a fear of loosing themselves when
they have lost the secret.. the ghost living inside
the core is still melting, but it still looks cool,
from outside..

like the one you are keeping..
let it be inside..
let it grow and flourish..
that the ghost itself becomes you.

many have sold the ghost,
that they are stil standing..
let you be the one sellling next..

COMPLEXITY

Worthier than anything
are my words i believe
i could never sell it
whic would have made me
.... millionaire


I have never asked asked anyone
if I could write about them.
As my words changes places
It forms their stories

I have changed them good and bad
as they are what to me
Fictional stories have never
come out of me...
as miracles have never come to me
Angel and daemons play their roles
Moving all up and down

I could see many on my move
but I could never change any of those
The world is sometimes with the
green sky, blue leaves and the black sun

Visions make changes all the time
As i have to run through it everytime
when my eyes are wet and vision is dull
I close my eye..
hoping they would be the same..

FOREVER..

I sometymz am too lost to be myself..

Never Ending

I had a feeling, for which i had many sleep less nights
Those howls & growls, making my heart beat fast

i want to make my eyes to the dark
to watch those eyes towards me
i have lost the fear of those as
my fear has become myself

i am walking a long long road inside my heart,
where my leg never aches
i still have that thing deep inside my heart
where i could never find me
lost my flowers, lost my chocolates
i am never coming closer again
i still move in the wind
pointing others where the sun stand still

Let Her Fly

I don't know what i have to do
to keep myself inside me
I always loved someone
who could control me in the same
tell me how I could change
my desires
i loved to give my heart
and give my care thee
but all were a dream which can never come true..

let her fly in her own wings
I am no one to tie her up

but I am afraid that I'll lose her
the day she spreads her wings
let her fly away like the cute flower
in the wind... and let her touch the
clouds and wave me from there....

Into The Memmories

i always have my sunglasses on
not because I'm afraid of the sun
just 'coz my eyes are wet..
as the times with u, are still in my heart..

i dont miss them, but jus 'coz
i dont want that to happen again
those were beautiful but color less

thanks for teaching me day dreaming
and those many things, which,
i never knew existed..

my dreams have changed,
my happiness faded..
and my life has shattered
thanks for teaching the
value of my life..

now u 'll never know that
i ever existed
i'll fade soon..
into the memmories..

Rainy Days

those rainy days of my past
i wished that they last
but god decided something fast
that we have to blast.. :)


those rainy days of my past
still feels like it was yesterday
those walks in the cold, your words
making me wanna go back to the time
those beautiful nights
your dreams which kept me so warm
made me like I'm the best
but making me the worst
was the fear of getting lost
getting lost .. from you!!!
'coz i am that into you..

My friend from NY

I met a girl from the new york city a few years back. She had came here as a part of her research work, for her university, Some bio things. We met at a lab, where i went with one of my friends for some of his purposes. We met at the result unit, We started on something, later floated on to many other things, we talked about places which mostly included green colors to the visuals. AS i was a good traveler, i could refer some good places, which would be good for her work. She got my number that she could call me anytime she needs help. I said bye, and thus we became hi - bye friends.But what went through my mind was different. In all the English movies, it was just dating & 1 day relations. Nothing else mattered, Nobody cared anything. So, i believed that, in U.S, things were like that. A place of no serious relations.
We later started chatting, we became better friends, i was thinking like i too will get a chance. Everything was running to the same point, that made me think, i too will get a chance. But i decided not to make a move, I waited.
One day evening she called me, she was in a hurry she told me that, she was about to leave to new york in an hour. I asked why, i got no answer. i felt really bad, but i did not ask anymore questions and waved her a happy journey
I could never understand why she left, I believed it was some urgent call from her university that made her do that.. until the day i saw her online again.
i asked what happened, she never gave an answer but switched the topic, but later said it was a personnel problem.
I asked no more questions on it as i felt, it wont be that good. I asked her to switch on the cam and mic. She first said no, but later she did, i could see her pale face, her eyes had lost that shining, she looked so sad. She just looked like she was crying for days.
I wanted to ask why but as she was not in a good shape to ask, so, I skipped the question. I knew she had a boy friend there, I asked about him. She said he was good, but at the same moment i saw tears burst out of her eyes, making a river on her face.
I waited there, until she stopped crying, i felt so sad. She said about her reason for the rush back, it was 'cos her boy friend met with an accident and now too he is in bed rest. she is there now, working and looking after him. i asked her to take good care of him and herself very well, and also that i'd pray for them.
i was actually on a shock !!!
i could never accept such a thing, real love in a place that in believed never existed. it took me days to understand the difference between the movies and the real life there
It was the movies which made me think like that, now i feel sorry for myself, i never have imagined a white girl crying broken hearted i for her love. Anyway i'm really confused on what is true and what is not.
But My feeling for my friend is now respect.
and it will be forever...

gloomy Wednesday

her walks were like moonlight flowing
her touch like the softness of a feather
her eyes were like diamond in the sun
her smell like the life's satisfaction
i have dreams of holding her
like the rain drops in my arms
the most beautiful drops I've ever felt
I have those many days,
which i have waited for you
just to see you walk away
i now have visions even when
I'm staring at the empty walls
its all because of you
i don't know if i can get
any close to you
than a stranger in the street
But i hold me back, always
i am sad that i decided
my targets are so important
it was a gloomy Wednesday, on which
i had the thoughts that changed me
In my memories, will always be there
you & this day..the golden beauty and the
gloomy Wednesday

My Love for you

I hate my dreams, My dreams of you
I had many sleepless nights and
I had many frozen moments
Everywhere I look I see you
I don't know what has happened to me,
As the sun goes down, the hell comes to me
I am in pain, the way no-one has ever felt
wounds unseen but the bleeding is felt..
I still think of you every second
but i don't want you in my life
I want to do something which
I have never done for so long
I want to cry...
I want to cry my pain out
Feelings are expressionless
expressions don't do things well
I wanna loose my pain,
I wanna be reborn, With all my memories lost
because, I can't love you anymore..

essay

I wrote the date on the left corner of the paper, 21-08-2046. I am about to write the n essay on the reason for the unavailability of salt-less water to the world, My daughter never believed me, about my past, the tie when I and my Bros were taking water directly from the river, watching the filter plants and the packaged water, she was believed it was like that.
Those days have passed, there are only factories and purifier plants everywhere. But my problem now is different, what would i write for her. The reasons, If I'm going genuine, I'll have to point at many, I don't like criticizing anyone for this 'coz everybody, known or un-known was a part of this.
I can't, Let some one else do this for her!!!

ഹെതെതെ...

somewhere inside my dreams
standing at the brims
the blue eyes of yours
is making me shed tears

memories of my love
is forever in glow
i can never rest
until i loose my lust
for u who drifted away

i will find you my dear
make you mine i swear
if your heart is true
then the paths will prove
i can come to you.

to be continued.... :)

Somebody's shadow

Somebody's shadow
I found her on a social networking site, the beauty that she never admitted she was. Everything happened like there was a cause. Many similarities were found, many cause of attraction were found, days passed mailing changed to chatting
Chatted for long time, became friends like there was no-one else in this world, talks grew that even the smallest particles of life was familiar to each other.
Photos were shared and every details were shared, but the moment of realisation was yet to come; that friends of virtual friends had limits. At last telephone numbers were shared that chatting grew to phone calls
Someone whos noone becoming everyone i na few days is a thrilling expeeriance. I felt like i was the hero, i have never felt anything like this before, i never expected that something like this would ever happen to me. Bu tit was a very fine day, on whichi came to know that the feelings are different on the other side, that I was one in a 100 for her. My castle of cards trmbled down. I asked her, what do you really mean?
Is my feeling true, that I am 1 in a 100 or am I that special to u?
She hanged the call, deleted me from everywhere, walked away as-if no-one cared.

Still I can't understand her complicated mind. Is that a disease or a disasters after effect? Still, I don't know what,


But, I Lived my life happily ever after...

LAST Footsteps

LAST Footsteps

I was walking in-front, I believe everyone has took me as their leader. I don;t know how everything happened, the words were flowing from me, while they were asking many things, that they felt like I'm clearing their paths.
The experiences from the past has made the flow more strong and to the point that it strikes sharp. The stages I have passed, i believe i can understand almost all and there true feelings, 'cos i have felt them myself or has seen them around so close. My life the 'poor child' to what I am now was not made in a day. The endless sufferings, the days i thought would never end.
Looking in front i cannot see what is tomorrow for me or change the past. I'm living for what I am supposed to, and the last word i heard from him is that, my days are going to be over soon.
I am walking to the place where i can rest for the rest of my life, the place my complicated and confused thoughts collide to form a fountain of questions. I don't know how many of my followers know that today is my last day.
i believe my thoughts have to rest now. Today, the last wind will blow to me, I'll hear the last sound of my life, I'll have the last pain and happiness of my life. I am not afraid, but I am going to wait. I'll reach my destiny soon.

The place ഇന്സിടെ me

sometimes expectations keep us single..
expecting some1 to be some1..
and missing them for no reason,
from there on we compare, cant find some1 like the one we just missed..
thinking how unlucky we are..
but in no mood for a compromise..
devils games inside and gods play outside,
I'd rather be moved to hell more than heaven
for breaking the laws of god..
keeping my universe inside myself..

lost i am, lost as my dreams , lost as my thoughts, lost as my..

ദി WInd

i am in serious prob...
prob is a wind...
which just embraced me, its fragrance drove me wild...
i thought like it'd never be over, 'n it'll flow forever...
but it came to an end,, breaking away my dreams...
nothing will ever be the same..
the wind never knew what changes it made, and i too don't want it to know..
but my silence will make it know, if it felt me when it was through me...
never a word about the wind will come out, I'm throwing my memories behind..
i was is and will be for myself..
but i know very much that I'm changed..............................

Dance

Reading through my memories,
of your words i feel like,
I'm lost somewhere in between.
your words, they catch me..
Like an eagle catching a parrot,
Nowhere to move nowhere to run:
nothing to do.
Sometimes i feel like flying,
in your love. it does magic to me.
'coz i love you like you love me
i feel like i'm so happy.
i should dance..
i will..
Someday..

Lost Seconds

Lost Seconds

It was a beautiful evening in the park. Gazing at the children and the blossoms, I was thinking of my past, her eyes, those were the beautiful eyes I've ever seen.
One summer, i still remember as it is yesterday, I and my friend was cycling around the trees, suddenly a squirrel ran out of nowhere, i braked & i was down, my hand broke, that i couldn't move it. I saw some people running towards me to see what happened, at the back of the crowd i noticed a brown haired girl with her hypnotizing eyes. There was a house near-by and they took me to the place and gave me first aid. I think it was her home that she was there standing there helping her dad dressing me up.
I didn't go out for a week & when i came to park next week, there was renovations going on & i couldn't find the house there as it was not there, which i later knew was broken down for extending the park.
At the moment, i could recognize what i saw in her eyes, the feelings which she was hiding, the things that created the beauty. I don't know why i still remember those days. But surely, it was day of my past.

I have heard it somewhere, i don't know where. The shortest horror story.

I knew i was the last man standing on earth, closed inside my room , suddenly someone knocked on the door.

Moments

I was talking to an alien, i felt. I could feel the loss of my energy, like my words were trembling, I couldn't make some good sentences, which could have raised me up. I felt i was loosing myself up there.
I don't know what i was looking at as i couldn't look at the face, i was a bit lost. My feelings were rare kind, those i have never felt before, my dreams were flushed out that i couldn't imagine a thing. i tried to raise my voice, i had a pencil with me, i scribbled something on the newspaper in-front of me, which i couldn't read. I pushed it forward that it could be read.
It was at a point, that the colors were flushing into my eyes, i felt like being cold. i couldn't recognize who was in-front of me. The last thing i saw was, me lying down, i couldn't see anything, I closed my eyes..

The Phone Call

I was on the chair waiting for a call. The phone was near me. I don't know whose phone it is or or for whom i am waiting for. It was a clouded day outside, i felt like it was about rain. i was waiting
The wait continued for some hours, i got restless that the phone was not even ringing. I thought it was not the day for me. i decided to leave. I slowly made my hands to the table and stood up from my chair. The coffee was cold, oh i remember, i forgot to drink it, it was mine; i turned around and decided to walk away. i walked slowly through the empty chairs & other tables in the room. i reached the door and pulled it open, suddenly it happened, the phone rang....